Sleep-Shit

The Thais have a simple expression for the act of shitting in one's bed -- they call it: ขี้นอน or "sleep-shit."

Two nights ago Jason had a problem. At midnight he woke up coughing. Then he had to vomit. There was a trail of vomit from the bed to the bathroom. The next day, Jason went to school -- I questioned whether this sick boy should go to school, but Poo is boss and she insisted. She was right -- Jason completed his school day, and correctly answered that 9 - 4 = 5, without vomiting.

But last night Jason was again sick. We went to bed (All 3 of us -- Jason, Poo and I in the same bed) without thinking too much about it. But at 6:30 AM I was awakened by an horrific scream: "JASON, OH MY GOD, YOU HAVE SHITTED IN THE BED!!!!"

Poo was incensed. How could a 5-year-old shit in his sleep? She immediately disrobed him, poked me out of bed, tossed the sheets, blankets and bedclothes into the laundry, and forced Jason to go to the bathroom, to take a shit. The poor little guy was sitting on the toilet, wondering what was happening, and apologizing profusely (wai-ing and crying at the same time!) for his misdeed. Poo was yelling at him:

"How can you 'sleep-shit' when you are 5 years old!!! It is natural for a 2-year-old to 'sleep-shit.' But you are 5-years-old!! In all my life, I have never heard of a 5-year-old who shits in his bed!! Jason! You are not a 2-years-old anymore -- grow up! Go to the toilet! a 5 year-old cannot shit in his bed!!!!"

Finally I shouted: "ENOUGH! Poo -- the boy is sick -- you cannot yell at him for being sick! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! He didn't want to shit in his bed -- it just happened . . . . . because he is sick!"

Later I felt guilty. Why? Because Poo was washing all the sheets, blankets and bed-clothes that Jason had shit upon. It's easy for me to say "it's OK -- it's natural" -- but I don't have to clean up the mess!!!