Orange Pride

You can tell by my name that I'm Irish and guess that I'm Catholic. Neither statement is true: I'm a plain American whose idea of culture is Speed Racer or McDonald's. I am repulsed by the Irish Catholic nationalism that affected my grandparents, but I did inherit one thing from them: I like the color green and I don't like orange.

Our school has a House system. I have no idea what this is; it must be British or Australian but it has never been explained to me. Still, I try to play along and I am in Orange House. This has affected my wardrobe. Of course, I had no orange clothes before learning that I am in Orange House, but upon learning the exciting news, my better half Poo bought me some orange shirts. Naturally, I wear them sometimes .

Today I was wearing an orange shirt in class when Lily from Orange House Year 9 yelled out, "Orange Pride!!!" I didn't know how to react. On the one hand, I want to support the House System so I should say "Right on! Sister!" and give her a high five. On the other hand, I don't want to be seen favoring a particular student in class. I gave her a quick nod of the head as if to say "wazzup, kinfolk."

Fortunately, Gerhard spoke up: "Do you know what Pride is in Swedish?"

"No."

"It means homosexual festival. It's when all the homosexuals have a big party and parade!"

"Really?!" I added "We call that Gay Pride."

"Well, in Sweden it's just Pride."

"And do you have a lot of homosexuals in Sweden?" I asked.

The usually talkative Gerhard was nonplussed. He had no response.

"Same as everywhere else, eh?" I offered, and the Year 9s, taken out of their comfort zone, went back to quietly studying mathematics.