Affluent Chinese Mothers and Laid-Back Jewish Fathers

I like to read Amy Chua. She is a good writer. In particular, the skillful narration of the murder of her auntie in the Philippines, and the resultant non-investigation, was fascinating. It led to some very interesting research about “market-dominant minorities” where she studied the Chinese in Southeast Asia, the Indians in East Africa, the Lebanese in West Africa, the Jews in Russia, etc. She is an imaginative researcher and writer.

That’s why her recent article in the Wall Street Journal, “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior” disappoints me -- a writer of her intellect should not stoop to this level. Let’s be clear -- Amy Chua is trying to sell her book. And she is using a technique that is too common today -- she is going over the top, making ridiculous, crass and provocative statements that obscure an interesting educational debate. The title is racist. She reinforces a stereotype that is unhelpful. It reeks of elitism. For example, look at the photograph of the author forcing her daughter to practice violin in a posh hotel room. Who can afford to rent a hotel room just for violin practice? She can. And a manifesto against playdates??? That’s just silly.

Ms. Chua lives and works on the Eastern Seaboard of the United States. Interestingly, the same attributes that she ascribes to Chinese mothers would have been ascribed to Jewish mothers 50 years ago. Presumably, her laid-back Jewish husband is a product of such a mother.

I won’t bother tearing it apart, because others are doing that nicely. David Brooks points out that for a teenage girl, negotiating the social landscape of a sleepover is cognitively more challenging than endless hours of practicing Chopin. Ayelet Waldman defends Western mothers with a sense of humor. Charing Ball quite rightly accuses Ms. Chua of cultural snobbery.

Instead, let’s look at the good points raised by Ms. Chua: 1) Mastering mathematics or music requires practice, practice, practice. 2) The better you get at something like mathematics or music, the more fun it is. 3) Children need loving parents who give them time and attention. 4) The academic success of children requires “putting in the hours” on the part of the parents.

This week we have our second Parent - Teacher - Student Conference Day. One of my best students rushed to sign up. “Your parents are coming AGAIN?" I asked. “I already told them that you are an excellent student, and you’re only getting better,” I said.

“Ha - ha” she laughed. “My parents like to be involved.”

No wonder she is such a good student.

Indeed, recent research from England suggests that the parents’ effort is the MOST important factor in a child’s academic success. This paragraph stunned me:

The researchers found that parents' effort is more important for a child's educational attainment than the school's effort, which in turn is more important than the child's own effort.

In other words: Kids! It’s OK to be lazy as long as your parents and teachers work hard!

If you want to see the interview with Amy Chua where she describes the murder of her Auntie, here it is: