Chicken shits

Once Thun and I got out of the Riot Zone, it was fairly easy to get around. For most of Thailand, it was business as usual.

We picked up Poo and Jason, and made it to our country house, in Pala U, Hua Hin district. What a difference! Sure, there were pictures of riots and fires on TV, but most of the cows didn't even notice. One cow slipped through the gate and started chomping our grass and flowers while watching TV through the open doors, but we shooed him away.

My boss sent an email because he was worried about our safety. "Don't worry!" I replied, "it's perfectly safe here, except for the snakes!"

Ironically, an hour later we were eating at our favorite little outdoor restaurant when Poo pointed at the roof. There was a bright green snake, about a meter long, just over our table!

I popped up: "Is it poisonous?" I demanded.

"Yes," said Poo, non-chalantly.

"If it bites you, will you die?" I screamed.

"Probably not."

THAT wasn't very reassuring.

"What is its name?" I demanded.

"We call it งู สีเขียว ("nguu sii kheo" = green snake) said Poo.

"Well, I can see that!" I snapped, "Do you know its name -- something more scientific?"

Poo hates that type of question -- she just shrugged her shoulders.

By now, the snake had slithered through a hole in the thatched roof and disappeared. I remained standing, staring at the roof and scooping rice into my mouth.

"Sit down to finish your meal," said Poo.

"I'M PROTECTING THIS FAMILY AGAINST A POISONOUS SNAKE!!" I shouted.

"Why is Daddy so scared?" chimed in Thun.

"Daddy is scared of EVERYTHING," said Poo.

Taking his cue from Poo, Jason asked, "Daddy, are you scared of rabbits?"

"Rabbits? No, rabbits, no."

"Daddy, are you scared of bears?"

"Bears? Yes, bears, yes."

"Daddy, are you scared of giants?"

And it went on like that, with Jason listing every creature he could think of, and all three of them laughing when I admitted fear. At least I am afraid of real, live creatures, that might harm me or kill me. At least I'm not afraid of ghosts!

All three of them are afraid of ghosts. Chicken shits!