Fungus

Every month Poo gives me a foot spa--she takes care of my feet. She insists on it--to her it's basic hygiene. First she makes me soak them in hot water for 30 minutes. Then she washes them, scrapes them, trims the nails, and removes all the funky stuff.

"Why are your toes so close together?" she likes to ask me.

"Because I grew up wearing shoes!" I tell her proudly. "You grew up barefoot--that's why your toes are so spread out."

"It's good to have toes like mine," she says, "because fungus can't live there. But fungus likes to live in between your toes."

Jason was watching me soak my feet one day, so he decided to join me. He stuck his bare feet into the same foot bath and enjoyed the warm water.

While I was in Japan, Jason had a problem. When I returned, Poo accused me: "You gave him foot fungus!" I laughed.

"No, I'm serious, it's a big problem," she continued, "the teacher called from school--he keeps taking off his shoes and socks and itching his feet."

In Thailand, nothing could be worse.

Last night Poo told the boys to go to sleep and she was coming to sleep with me. "No, Mommy!" said Jason, "don't sleep with Daddy! You will get foot fungus and your feet will itch!"